WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize