apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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