Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
