What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize