she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
