does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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