I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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