Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
