A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
