I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
