He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
