and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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