I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
