dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
