Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
