Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
