I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
