I think I died a long time ago.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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