my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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