Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
