I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
