GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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