So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
