Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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