I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
