I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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