No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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