North Korea, Best Korea!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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