Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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