Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
