Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
