They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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