your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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