you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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