you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
