i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
