Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
