I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
