I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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