YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
