dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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