we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i drank out of a bidet.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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