Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Panties = found
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
