You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
