So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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