i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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