Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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