Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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