No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
