if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is wine microwaveable?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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