Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
