She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
