Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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