What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
