I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize