Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
