I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize