What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
