I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
