It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
