You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
